Where Our Thoughts Go, Energy Flows
One of the most profound concepts in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the idea that where our thoughts go, energy flows. In other words, we move toward whatever we focus on most. Decades of CBT research confirm that our thoughts impact our emotions, and those emotions, in turn, drive our behaviors.
Think about it—when you dwell on stress or negativity, you feel drained, unmotivated, or even overwhelmed. But when you focus on what’s going well, no matter how small, you begin to see more positivity in your life. By intentionally shifting our thoughts, we can shape our reality in meaningful ways.
Why Our Thoughts Matter More Than We Realize
Everything we think about—especially what we repeatedly focus on—has a deep neurological impact on our mental health. CBT therapy explains that when we repeatedly think a thought, we strengthen the neural connections associated with it. Over time, those thoughts become easier and more automatic to access.
Consider how this plays out in everyday life:
If you frequently think about things you appreciate, your brain starts noticing more to be grateful for. If you constantly dwell on things that frustrate you, your brain finds more things to be frustrated about.
This is why mindset shifts can be so powerful. If we train our minds to recognize moments of joy, even in difficult times, we can actively improve our mental well-being.
However, we all have moments where negative thoughts take over.
Have you ever caught yourself thinking:
They never listen to me.
This always happens to me—nothing ever changes.
I’m the only one putting in the effort.
This problem is too big. I can’t fix it.
I’ll never be good enough.
These types of unhelpful thinking patterns, known in CBT as cognitive distortions, can increase anxiety, depression, and stress. They also impact how we communicate with others, how we approach challenges, and even how we feel about ourselves.
So, what can we do to rewire our thinking patterns for the better?
A Simple, Life-Changing Practice
One of the simplest yet most effective CBT-based gratitude practices is creating a Gratitude Jar. This practice is especially helpful during seasons of transition, hardship, or uncertainty, when it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong. By shifting our attention to what’s going right, we can improve our emotional resilience and rewire our brain for more positive thinking. I personally discovered the power of a Gratitude Jar during one of the most challenging times in my life—lockdown in New York City during COVID-19.
For nine months, I felt restless, helpless, and stuck. I couldn’t change my circumstances, but I could change my focus. That’s when I started writing down small, positive moments—things that reminded me goodness still existed despite the uncertainty.
Here’s how it worked:
Each time something positive happened that was outside of my control, I wrote it down on a small piece of paper.
I committed to doing this for an entire year.
On New Year’s Eve, I planned to read through my notes and reflect on all the good that had happened.
At first, I wasn’t sure what I would write. But as the days passed, I noticed more and more moments of joy that I might have otherwise overlooked.
Some of my favorite Gratitude Jar moments included:
A friend surprised me with a homemade meal.
Receiving a kind, unexpected message from a colleague.
Watching the sunrise on a morning walk.
Reading a book that deeply resonated with me.
Finding a new hiking trail that took my breath away.
A neighbor left fresh flowers on my doorstep.
Each time I wrote down a joyful moment, I felt my mindset shift. Instead of constantly thinking about the difficulties I faced, I started noticing how much good was still happening around me.
Why the Gratitude Jar Works (According to Science!)
CBT therapy and positive psychology research confirm that practicing gratitude has powerful, science-backed benefits for mental health:
It rewires your brain for positivity. Regular gratitude practice strengthens positive neural pathways, making it easier to focus on the good in life.
It reduces stress and anxiety. Studies show that people who practice gratitude experience lower cortisol levels (the stress hormone).
It boosts emotional resilience. By shifting focus to positive moments, gratitude helps people recover more quickly from adversity.
It improves sleep and well-being. Reflecting on positive experiences before bed can enhance relaxation and improve sleep quality.
Your Turn: Start Your Own Gratitude Jar!
One of the best things about this practice? It’s easy, free, and anyone can do it!
Here’s how to get started:
Find a Jar (or a Box): Any container will do—just make sure it’s easily accessible.
Gather Small Pieces of Paper: Post-it notes or scraps of paper work great!
Write Down Moments of Joy: Each time something positive happens outside of your control, write it down and drop it in your jar.
Be Consistent: Aim for at least one gratitude note per week—or more if you can!
Reflect & Celebrate: Pick a time (New Year’s Eve, the end of each month, or a personal milestone) to read through your notes and relive the joy.
💡 Pro Tip: Want to make it even more powerful? Get a friend, partner, or family member to join you in the practice!
Why This Practice Matters
Gratitude isn’t about ignoring hard times or pretending challenges don’t exist. It’s about choosing where to place our focus. When life feels overwhelming, shifting attention to small, everyday moments of joy can be the difference between feeling stuck and feeling hopeful.
Don’t wait for New Year’s Eve to start fresh! Research shows that people are more likely to succeed with new habits when they begin on a Sunday, Monday, or the first of the month—so why not start now?
Try the Gratitude Jar Challenge for a few months and see what changes for you. If you give it a shot, I’d love to hear how this simple practice impacts your life!